I like to hurry. I rush through breakfast, so I can move on to what I want to do next. I rush kids putting their shoes on so we won't be late. I rush to fix lunch and then rush them through eating it so they can take their naps. While I have a little silence in the house, I rush through chores that are easier to get done without kids around. Hurry, hurry, hurry, all day long. I tell them, "No story tonight, it's past your bedtime", or "just let me tie your shoes for you, it'll go faster".
The other night, Beau was a little fussy before he went to sleep. I held him close and rocked him in his daddy's chair to soothe him. As I was holding and rocking him, I had flashbacks of rocking the other 2 when they were his size. I thought about them walking for the first time, them playing with baby toys on the floor, them chewing on their board books and then eventually pointing and naming pictures in them. I remembered all kinds of accomplishments, smiley faces, fun days we spent together. And then I thought about it... what are they going to remember about their childhood? Will they remember the fun places they got to see? The sports they were involved in? Will they remember the nights I DO read them a story? or the times I stop and teach HOW to tie a shoe, instead of doing it myself? Or are they going to remember the times I say, "I'll come out and play in a minute, right now I'm doing the dishes"- and then that "minute" never comes?
Since I've been a "stay at home mom" my perspective has changed. I want more than ever for my kids to have a full, meaningful childhood where they are nurtured and respected. Where their opinion counts, and they feel like they're heard. Where they know what discipline is and what consequences are. Where we don't mindlessly go through every day just like the day before. Life happened so fast for us when the older two were little. I missed so much of those little things that I needed to see. Not because I was working. I absolutely think you can be a full time working mom and still have fullness with your kids. I missed it because I wasn't aware of it. I wasn't aware that those cute little things they did that made them unique were so important. That they really DO remember so much more than you think they do. Being at home with them makes me want to slow the clock. Knowing (God-willing :)) that this is our last wants me to slow the clock even more. So even though the clock won't slow and life is still chaotic and busy, I want to fill every bit of those busy moments with fullness. Am I successful at "slowing down", "smelling the roses", "finding the gifts in every moment"?? ABSOLUTELY NOT!! To tell you the truth, I suck at it! But that's why I'm thankful for grace!! Every day I have a chance to start over. Better than that, every hour I have a chance to start over!!
I don't know if you've noticed, but almost all of my titles for my posts are lyrics in songs or song titles. And if I were more computer-smart I would learn how to link the song to the post. (p.s. if anyone wants to teach me that, that would be awesome!) Anyway, this song is by Darius Rucker. I know, Hootie turned country is just wrong, but I love this song! Everytime I hear it, it reminds me of the moments I'm missing out on everyday because I don't choose to see them. So if you have kids, notice them. Make eye contact with them. Teach them something new. Do something with them they've never done before. Act stupid in front of them (they love that!). But don't hurry. Limit the number of times you use the word "hurry" to them. Because they won't be like this for long.
